So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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