Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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