Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
