can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize