AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
