its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
