i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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