May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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