broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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