Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
