OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize