peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
