Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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