OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
