I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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