i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
