Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize