i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Enjoy the penises
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
