i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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