Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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