I'm eating all of the evidence.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
