Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
