using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize