The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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