Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize