she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
