do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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