So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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