he wants to bone in the snuggie
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I think people are normalizing furries
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
