We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
