Ambien. No doubt about it.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
