Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
