I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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