all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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