if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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