so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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