In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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