There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Dick very happy bro
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
