I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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