Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
