why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's never too late to be topless.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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