ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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