i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Randomize
