dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize