I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
