I want to have your abortion
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
