Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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