Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
