Non-Jews are for practice
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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