fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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