She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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