this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
