trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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