I wish my penis had an off switch
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
