So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
