I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize