I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
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