New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize