i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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