her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
